In this step you will be asked to plan to conduct one small action you could take to achieve this goal. To help decide what this action will involve, here are some tips to improve your personal self-care.
Diet and Nutrition
Eating nutritious food is not only good for your physical health, but also your emotional health as our food intake affects our mood. When parents and carers are busy or stressed, planning and preparing nutritious meals can be difficult. If children have limited food preferences, this can make it even more difficult as parents can find themselves having to prepare multiple meals.
If you feel you are not eating well, think about why this might be the case.
- Do you have a good knowledge about how to eat healthy and why it is important?
- Do you have good cooking skills?
- Do you have financial constraints that limit your ability to eat healthy?
- Do you have limited time to prepare nutritious meals?
Once you are aware of the barriers limiting your healthy eating, you can take the necessary steps to overcome this barrier. Read about these topics that might help you overcome your barrier to eating healthy.
- What is healthy eating? Australian guide to healthy eating | Eat For Health
- How can food affect your mood? https://nutritionaustralia.org/fact-sheets/food-and-mood/
- How can you eat healthy on a budget? https://nutritionaustralia.org/fact-sheets/healthy-eating-on-a-budget/
- How can you encourage your children to become great eaters? https://nutritionaustralia.org/fact-sheets/helping-kids-to-become-great-eaters/
- What healthy eating program are available for families and the community? https://nutritionaustralia.org/category/programs/families-and-community/
- How can you plan and organise your meals to increase your healthy eating? Healthy Eating Active Living – Weekly menu planner (nsw.gov.au)
Smoking, alcohol, and drugs can affect your physical and emotional health. If you would like to quit smoking, the Quit Now website has tips and tools to help you quit, or you can call the Quitline on 13 78 48. The Australian Government Department of Health website has information on how to manage your drinking How much alcohol is safe to drink? | Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care and drugs intake How to reduce or quit drugs | Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care.
The Healthy Mothers Healthy Families online course also offers support for mothers of children with a disability to manage healthy eating: https://healthymothers-healthyfamilies.com/
Physical activity
While it is recommended that adults do at least 30 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity each day, many do not engage in as much physical activity as they should to stay healthy. When you are caring for a child with developmental delay, it can be challenging to be motivated or find the time to get physically active.
Physical activity refers to activity that gets your body moving, makes your breathing quicker, and your heart beats faster. Quite often we think about organised sport as physical activity, but it also includes incidental activities such as housework, mowing the lawn or running for the bus. The main idea is to reduce the amount of sitting or lying down time in your day.
If you feel you are not physically active enough, think about why this might be the case.
- Do you have a good knowledge about physical activity and why it is important?
- Do you find physical activity boring or painful?
- Do you have like to exercise with others but don’t have anyone to join you?
- Do you have limited time to be physically active?
- Do you feel unsure about how to start exercising?
Once you are aware of the barriers limiting your physical activity, you can take the necessary steps to overcome this barrier. Read about these topics that might help you overcome your barrier to physical activity.
- How much physical activity do you need? The amount of physical activity you need – Better Health Channel
- What are the benefits of physical activity? Benefits of physical activity for your heart | Heart Foundation
- How can you start to exercise? How to start exercising | healthdirect
- How can you stop making excuses not to exercise? Physical activity – overcoming excuses – Better Health Channel
- How can you stay motivated? Physical activity – staying motivated – Better Health Channel
- Who can you join to start walking in your area? Find a walking Group in Australia | Heart Foundation Walking
Deciding how to increase your physical activity, setting goals, and monitoring your progress, are important steps to success. Here you will find some additional questions to help you plan, plus a guide to setting goals for being physically active.
Physical activity – setting yourself goals – Better Health Channel
- What physical activity did you enjoy when you were younger? Could you take up that activity again? If you don’t enjoy the activity, chances are you won’t be motivated
- What would motivate you to engage in physical activity? For example, would you be more likely to show up if you knew your absence would let your netball team down?
- What small changes can you make to your day to increase your physical activity? For example, could you take the stairs instead of the lift up to your office?
- What time of day would it suit your family best for you to be physically active? Before the kids wake up, or when they are asleep, or at school when someone else is caring for them?
- How could you incorporate your physical activity with playing with your children? If they love to jump on the trampoline, could you join them?
The Healthy Mothers Healthy Families online course also offers support for mothers of children with a disability to manage physical activity: https://healthymothers-healthyfamilies.com/
Sleep
Adults between the ages of 26 to 64 years need about 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night to support wellbeing. Disturbed sleep is common amongst parents and carers and may be caused by a range of factors including worry and stress, or the child you care for may disturb your sleep.
If you are having trouble sleeping or not getting enough sleep, try these suggestions (Better Health Channel, n.d):
- Go to bed at the same time each day.
- Avoid exercise before bed.
- Make the bedroom as restful an environment as possible.
- Avoid screen time or other stimulating activities just before bed.
- Avoid caffeine or other stimulants in the evening.
- Try a warm bath or shower 2 hours before bed to regulate your body temperature for sleep.
- Avoid a nap in the evening.
- If you cannot sleep, get up and do something quiet in another room.
If you feel dissatisfied with the quantity and quality of the sleep you are getting, visit https://skills.carergateway.gov.au/ and check out Carer Skills 6: Sleep
MindSpot also offer a free 8 week online self-paced course with optional weekly therapist check-ins to help you with sleep: https://www.mindspot.org.au/treatments/sleep-course
Dealing with stress
Research shows that parents of children with developmental delays are more likely to experience chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression (Hastings, 2002; Minnes et al., 2015).
Everyone reacts differently to stress, but we know it can be very harmful to your health and your ability to care for your child. So, it is important to recognise stress and how you react to it, and of course take action to reduce its impact on you physically, emotionally, and on how you act.
Learning to meditate and practise mindfulness has been found to reduce the experience of stress. Mindfulness helps you focus on what is happening right now and focus on your body rather than your thoughts that might think about the past or worry about the future. Once you learn to meditate or use mindfulness it is something you can do regularly and integrate it into your daily life, and use it when you feel stressed.
You can learn these techniques through online courses and apps. Here are some you might want to explore:
If you feel you need more support to manage stress, online courses are also available:
- The Carer Gateway offers an online course about dealing with stress: Carer Skills courses | Carer Gateway
- The Healthy Mothers Healthy Families online course also offers support for mothers of children with a disability to manage stress: https://healthymothers-healthyfamilies.com/
Improving your emotional wellbeing
There are also many online courses and apps that help you with managing your broader emotional wellbeing. Some are free and some you have to pay a fee for, so you will need to consider this when choosing a program.
Some common approaches include Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, and studies have demonstrated that these approaches can decrease the experience of stress and increase psychological wellbeing in parents of children with disabilities (e.g., Li et al., 2024; López-Liria et al., 2020; Yesilkaya & Magallón-Neri, 2024).
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, also known as CBT, helps people understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are interconnected. In this approach, the professional might help you to identify unhelpful thoughts, challenge or reframe your thoughts, and give you strategies to change unhelpful behaviours.
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy blends the practical tools of CBT with the calming, present-focused awareness of mindfulness meditation.
Remember, these aren’t the only approaches, but it might be helpful to know a little about what to expect if you do start an online course or app.
- Smiling Mind
The new Smiling Mind App helps you learn the skills that promote mental wellbeing and create the habits to thrive: Smiling Mind App — Smiling Mind
- This Way Up
This is a joint initiative of St Vincent’s Hospital and the University of New South Wales, providing evidence-based, internet-delivered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy programs: Online Mental Health Treatment Programs | THIS WAY UP
- Moodgym
Moodgym is like an interactive self-help book which helps you to learn and practise skills which can help to prevent and manage symptoms of depression and anxiety: https://www.moodgym.com.au/
- MindSpot
Offers a free 8 weeks online self-paced course with optional therapist check-ins to help with low mood, depression, stress, social anxiety, panic attacks, or excessive worry: https://www.mindspot.org.au/treatments/wellbeing-course/ - Carer Gateway Coaching
The Carer Gateway offers self-guided and in-person coaching to help in eight different areas of being a carer. Taking care of your health and wellbeing is one such session where you can think about how to look after yourself for better health and wellbeing: https://coaching.carergateway.gov.au/#moreinfo-selfguided-coaching
Reconnecting with people and activities
Many parents and carers of children with developmental delay find that they lose touch with friends or with activities outside the home or activities they used to enjoy before they became a parent. It is important to find or make time to do the things you love. Tips include (Garey, n.d.):
- Spending time with people who have no connection to your child
- Planning social activities that you can enjoy with the people you care about outside your immediate family
- Making time for activities that are purely pleasurable. This might be something like reading or being creative, or it could be as simple as sitting and having a coffee quietly with the sun on your face.
If you feel like you would improve this area of your life, visit https://skills.carergateway.gov.au/ and check out Carer Skills 3: Recharge and reconnect.
A note about time
Parents and carers don’t have a lot of time to themselves. And many of the suggestions for improving self-care involve having time to yourself, which for many parents and carers may not be possible. You may not have an immediate support network, or perhaps you are anxious about your child receiving proper care if you are not around. Whilst we know children do best when they are with their families, it is important to balance time for yourself to focus on self-care.
If you don’t have access to people who can care for your child, think about Respite Care. Respite Care offers a break for families (planned or emergency), giving the child new experiences and caregivers a chance to rest and recharge. Visit Carer Gateway at https://www.carergateway.gov.au/ or Disability Gateway at https://www.disabilitygateway.gov.au/health-wellbeing/respite for information about local respite care.
Now it is time to plan your first small action. Look at the example provided, and then write your own